


SUPERNOVA || a kagehina story

by nishinoyaism



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Awkward Kageyama Tobio, Bottom Hinata Shouyou, Depressed Hinata Shouyou, Established Hinata Shouyou/Miya Atsumu, Everyone Is Gay, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gay, Hinata Shouyou & Kozume Kenma Friendship, Hurt Hinata Shouyou, Jealous Kageyama Tobio, Kageyama Tobio is Bad at Feelings, Pro Volleyball Player Kageyama Tobio, Protective Kageyama Tobio, Top Kageyama Tobio
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-16 00:40:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29073438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nishinoyaism/pseuds/nishinoyaism
Summary: they were forever, but forever wasn't long enough for them.an angsty kagehina fanfic.tw: drugs, smut, alcoholics, abuse, etc.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Hinata Shouyou/Miya Atsumu, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Comments: 5
Kudos: 36





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first um real like fanfic yeah yeah...
> 
> plz enjoy ig um
> 
> ill update every week y'all

Kageyama and Hinata were known as star crossed lovers, too enjoyed in each other to notice the world around them. Breaking and connecting, the world always was. Paths were intertwined, destined to become parallel again. Running alongside each other, but never connecting. If by some chance they would cross again, it would be an explosion of stars. A supernova.

Graduation was around the corner, the inevitable split that would part them for years. A mutual breakup was planned, that when they were to go to college they would be over. No hard feelings, of course. It was for the better. One day, they had planned they would get back together again to buy a cottage on the side of the sea, and enjoy the warm salty air together.

Hinata would be lifted up by kageyama, as he enjoyed the salty breeze. Kageyama would feel invincible behind the boy he called his own. His sunshine, who outshined every star. But of course, there could only be one sun in a person's life.

Kageyama would miss the orange hair he had grown so accustomed to seeing everyday, beside him in bed. Hinata would miss the defined cheekbones, the blue eyes that drew him in, the black hair that was so soft, and the smell of cologne Kageyama would always wear. Hinata still had a few of Kageyama's hoodies, and he would hate to give them back. He felt so confident in them, and loved them so much. He would parade around the house, in Kageyama's hoodie, eating ice cream and appreciating the fact he had someone behind him even at his worst.

Kageyama and Hinata had both seen each other at their own worsts, the comfort of each other enough to heal any wound. Although, scars always still stay. They both were each others remedies, either a soft kiss to the temple or a simple affirmation. Maybe it was when they went thrifting to try on dresses, and ended up dancing in the middle of the living room with prom dresses. Maybe it was when they caught bugs together for the first time. Either way, it was enough for them.

As the two boys stood, looking over the hill at miyagi. Diplomas in hand, love in their hearts, and a will to go on together, nothing much really stood between them. Except the fact that they were going different ways, different colleges, and were going to be different people. Not the same kageyama who would brush the back of his hand on hinata's cheek bones and smile. Not the same hinata who would nuzzle into kageyama's chest enjoying the comfort. They would be in different prefectures, different colleges. They would become different people. If they met again, would they recognize eachother? Surely not. They had no idea what the other would become in such a span.

"Do you think sometime in the future we'll be together?" Hinata says, looking forward.

Kageyama turned to him, the sunset painting gold onto hinata's features, as the wind blows his hair. Hinata looked like a god, as his head was slightly tilted up. His brown eyes reflect gold, his true personality and the color of his heart. The following years would be hell without each other, and they weren't ready for it.

"I think so." kageyama says, knowing that they probably wouldn't. A heart of gold didn't deserve his black and cold one.

"Hopefully you'll finally be able to compliment someone." Hinata teased, perching his tongue between his teeth in a playful smile.

"Boke." Kageyama pouted, smacking Hinata lightly on the head.

He would miss all the nights that they spent, driving around the town blasting "Everybody talks" by Neon Trees feeling the summer air comfort them in a hug in the blissful nights. He always avoided the potholes when Hinata slept in the car, so he wouldn't be woken when the small boy had spent all of his energy. Forever wasn't long enough with him.

"I'll wait for you." Hinata suddenly burst out.

"I sure hope you do." Kageyama turned to face the sunset, trying to ignore the fact that if he looked at Hinata, he would surely cry.

Hinata whispered, barely audible. He turned around, meeting Kageyama face to face. He struck out his hand, and kageyama met it. They shook hands, and gave one last loving look for who knew how long.

"I love you."

A tear delicately rolled down kageyama's porcelain skin. He sniffled, and offered a slight smile. Something he had learned to do since Hinata came into his life. So suddenly it had happened, and so suddenly he was leaving. He didn't realize how hard it would be to smile once he had left.

"I love you too, hinata." kageyama choked.

The boys stood there, hands back at their sides. One last hug was present, and kageyama could feel his heart being taken by the boy who had the sun. a supernova, it was. They had been too blinded by the stars exploding, to take in the beauty of it all, for the last time.

The world would be fine, without the two together. Even though their romance was such a small piece in the world, it felt like an infinity of stars to them. Kageyama's hair blew in the wind, as a small smile planted on his lips as he slowly nuzzled a little further into Hinata, savoring his smell. Hinata giggled a bit, and bit Kageyama's ear playfully. Kageyama chuckled a bit, and lifted Hinata up and spun him around, the hug still in action. The two could never stay serious, but that was alright. 

And the two parted, without a kiss. They denied each other the right to a goodbye kiss, since there was never to be a goodbye between the two. The only goodbyes were bid to the times they would dance on the kitchen tables, Hinata with ice cream in his hand and chocolate ice cream all around his mouth. Kageyama would reluctantly join Hinata in dancing, and the laughs were more than present. They would say goodbye to many people, running parallel to others lines. But theirs was always adjacent, to always crash and collide. This wasn't the last time they would meet, but it felt like everything without the other was nothing.

Kageyama wanted to feel again after him.

Hinata wanted to stop feeling after him.

But the world goes on, even if soulmates were seperated.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back in town?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 8338 words sheesh
> 
> hey besties i have to turn in my essay on thursday and i have one body paragraph started lol :smile: :pray:
> 
> fuck kageyama tobio lolz

Five years.

Do you really think a person could change enough in that amount of time? Kageyama shook the thought from his head as he drove back into miyagi. College and volleyball had been hard, and he was really missing his home. Or whatever was left of it. Everyone was gone, he just missed his highschool years. 

He looked at the time, 12:22 am. 

He tore his eyes off the clock as he continued down the old roads. Memories could be caught here, the first time he kissed Hinata. The first time he set a volleyball, the first time he smiled without a reason. Just a smile, and a happy boy. He wondered where Hinata was, how he was doing.

The years had been hell, he didn’t know how he was going to confront or meet Hinata, let alone explain why he left him alone with no returned calls or texts for five years. Nothing kageyama did was good enough, the last few years he’d only been faced with back to back anxiety and stress. 

He took another drag from his blunt, eyes red.

I mean, losing everything you had? One tough way to break down. He went from being a national volleyball star, to losing everything because of some false rape charge. He didn’t even like women. 

He took another drag from his blunt, eyes rolling back as he felt the tears coming. Tobio Kageyama; always running from something. First it was the sunshine boy, second it was feeling emotion, third it was love in general. Now to add a fourth, his career; his passion. 

He eventually pulled up into his old driveway, turning off his car and getting out. He took out his luggage and knocked on his family’s doorway. He was back, he promised to never be at this low of a point, and he always laughed at others who were at the same place. He just wanted to break down; fall to his knees and cry harder than the rain after a fire.

“Tobio!” his mother shouted, as he dropped his bags in an attempt to hug her.

“Welcome home, Tobio.” his father said, from behind his mother.

He was home, but somehow it didn’t really feel like he had expected it to. The phrase “home” didn’t really hit as hard as it used to. Home was with his friends, but he wasn’t home to his friends. Home was a light tap on the cheek, a kiss on the lips, a small sunshine boy.

Home wasn’t here, home wasn’t found, home wasn’t real anymore. Home was living his own life, home was enjoying his experiences, home was without him.

Another numb minute passed, and he took off his jacket. The phrase, “Everything will be alright.” seemed long gone. He gave a good look into his mothers eyes, seeing the love but also the inevitable disappointment. He knew she saw his eyes red, and that he was high as a kite.

He took a breath in, and retreated upstairs to figure stuff out.

“I’m staying for a while, gotta figure some stuff out. Thanks for the place to stay.” he called.

“Always welcome, dear.” his mother said, and the cold night seemed to prevail on.

He approached his room, the coldness of it radiating. It was untouched, his futon still there with blankets folded nicely. He dropped his bags, and looked around the small room. He used to live here, now it felt as if a ghost was returning to the spot where he had been killed. Bad memories, but still nonetheless memories that stayed with him forever. 

The untouched room gave him euphoria, that the last him there was highschool him. Highschool Tobio, learning how to kiss. Highschool Tobio, learning how to love. Highschool Tobio, smiling unforced for the first time. Highschool Tobio, his only care being volleyball and if Hinata would text him back.

He watched as the tears continued, as he broke down. He fell to his knees in a sob. Where did he go wrong? Why did he leave? Why did he… Why was he? He couldn’t think straight through the cloudy vision. Heartbreak following him every turn he took, he could only hope to breathe for a few seconds in nontoxic air. 

He put his hands together in a prayer position, and looked up to his ceiling. He said a silent prayer, hoping that this would all pass. That this was only a bad dream. That he could wake up and be called down for breakfast; only to arrive at school late because he spilled the cereal. He chuckled softly, and decided to try and pick up his pieces for a few moments. 

Tobio Kageyama stood up, he wiped his tears. He took off his slippers, and sunk into his futon. He had stuff to figure out, but for now at least he could enjoy the comfort of a slumber that wouldn’t betray him. Or so he thought.

His dream consisted of sunshine, and the smell of honey and tangerines. An odd smell, but so comforting to the male. 

He saw him, the way he once saw him for the first time.

Giggles and sunshine,

Love and fun times.

Hinata woke up, the bed sheets tangled in which ways. It was another night he had to live, another hell he had to survive through. His lover for the night was fast asleep, as he gathered his clothes in a disorderly pile and changed into them as fast as he could.

He looked at himself in the mirror, is this who he really had become?

An ex volleyball star and stripper, now turned coffee shop worker that slept with guys from the club to try to forget his feelings for a certain someone. 

Everyday was hell without him, Hinata couldn’t feel as happy as he thought he would be able to feel. He couldn’t even go home, his parent’s couldn’t stand him anymore. He failed his first year of college, and didn’t make it to the second year. He could only count the days as paychecks, how much he would earn that week and if it was enough to keep him alive. 

Home, how he wished he could go home. Home was cloudy eyes, and raven filled skies. Home was a certain dark haired boy who couldn’t understand physical contact the way that he wished he could. Home was a blue eyed boy with a heart too closed to love most, except for the one he used to call his own.

Oh how he hoped that his home still existed, how if his home still loved him.

He looked into the mirror, his orange hair ratty, his dead looking face, his hickies and bruises, his skinny arms. If he went home, would home still want him? He didn’t look the same at all, his heart tainted. Would Kageyama spit on him, and call him names? Would Kageyama want a disgusting whore that gets off by being an alcoholic? What if he wasn’t someone Kageyama didn’t want around? 

He couldn’t cry anymore, his body wasn’t capable of it. He just felt that aching feeling and darkness. 

Five years, five years of no texts. Five years of no “I love yous.” five years of no small kisses in coffee shops. Five years of no love. Five years of unknowing stumbling in the dark. 

He wanted to be everywhere with his home, in the old alleyways of a dark city, running free down city streets, holding home close and never letting go. A forever intersecting line, born of the same coordinates. Never to be separated, never to be on its own. 

He heard the slight sounds of his one night lover and bolted for the door. Ending out on the street, with no real direction. He wanted to forget last night, he probably called out Kageyama’s name in ecstasy instead of the other random guy’s. He just remembered the pleasure.

Five years with no direction. Five years with no objection.

He decided to stop by Suga and Daichi’s coffee shop, to get something to drink. He lived with them upstairs, but often spent his days far away. With little to zero money in his pocket, he could probably just clean the shop to make back the money. And so, he set off to go get a drink to wake him up. 

It wasn’t far to the shop, and as he entered hearing that wonderful little bell he saw Suga and Daichi exchanging small pecks and sharing chocolate covered strawberries. His heart ached, he was well aware he made everything about Kageyama but he didn’t really care.

“Hinata!” Sugawara exclaimed, looking surprised at the little rugrat that had appeared.

Hinata walked in, his sweatpants and white shirt looking crinkled and a little dirty. He smiled, and took a seat at the bar; spinning once on the barstool. He stopped himself with both hands by putting them down on the counter.

“How are you?” Daichi said, finishing Sugawara’s sentence, to which Sugawara smacked his hand playfully.

“The usual, you know.” Hinata mustered a smile, meeting Daichi’s gaze with hesitance. 

Sugawara passed him his favorite drink, an iced tea with coconut milk along with a bagel. This drink was deemed the “After Hookup Headache Cure.” By Hinata. Both Sugawara and Daichi knew of his current condition and stableness so they oversaw a rehab plan for Hinata, and he was two days clean of drowning his sorrows in a hard bourbon on the rocks. They also were going to send him back to college soon with an extra tip box at the front of the shop titled, “Help our friend get back in college.” with a picture of hinata badly photoshopped into a grad suit. 

“Thanks, you’re a real one.” Hinata chuckled, pointing to Sugawara with the same hand that held the wondrous drink and bagel.

Sugawara chuckled, and went off to serve other customers. Sugawara was always an angel, and Hinata despised him for having everything he always wanted. Sure, Sugawara had to struggle with High School, sacrificing his future safety career plan to sit on the bench of some Highschool team. But that year of struggling was nothing compared to what Hinata was feeling at the moment.

Hinata took a feisty bite of his bagel, starving.

“Go get em, Tiger.” Daichi handed Hinata the keys to open up the apartment upstairs, and winked. 

Hinata winked, and put his hands together in a prayer position walking backwards for a few seconds to remain eye contact with Daichi and mouthed his thanks. He continued to walk up to the apartment, struggling to make it up the stairs because his ass hurt like hell. He ate most of his bagel, but still had a little left. He put the keys into the door, and opened it.

A small pitbull puppy came running towards him; going by the name “Sugawara’s first born” or more officially named “Buttercup.” Hinata smiled, and tossed the puppy the rest of his bagel; not feeling hungry much more. He saw fresh baked bread in the open floored apartment’s kitchen, wishing he could be a part of their happy family forever. He sighed, and played with his keys as he walked upstairs to his room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was hard to write, honestly i hate being mean to hinata but this situation only felt fitting. 
> 
> this is so angsty lol but i want to make this the next in the holy trinity of another life and the galaxy is endless.
> 
> im not going to name myself author chan cuz thats weird so just call me pixii


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flashback.
> 
> what drove kageyama back into town, besides his money problems.
> 
> 3 months ago.
> 
> TW: DRUGS SUICIDE AND SEXUAL CONTENT
> 
> Listen to : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QHaOAFz206A while reading.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol pain.  
> sorry its so short i just wanted to save the best for the next chapter.
> 
> thanks for sticking around.
> 
> ill continue to update weekly.

Tobio Kageyama is anxious, like really anxious.

Like a pine tree’s needles, never dying. This caused a gloomy aura to follow Kageyama, most finding him unapproachable; but also so goddamn hot.

Kageyama just finished practice, saying his goodbyes to his team. He really enjoyed playing with them. He sauntered across the gym to the locker room, opening the steel door. His hands were always cold, and he hissed at the contact of the even colder door. He saw his teammates changing, and he quickly beelined towards his locker. He hated seeing everyone without clothes, he couldn’t look at anyone naked after Hinata. Whenever he saw an inch of skin that wasn’t meant for any eyes to see, in that small locker room, all he could think of was his first time with Hinata. He was always wondering if Hinata was watching. Was he?

He changed quickly, throwing on sweatpants and a shirt. He grabbed his stuff, and slipped on his shoes. He paused for a second, swiftly turning up.

“Where are you going?” Ushijima inquired, pausing while shirtless. 

Kageyama sniffed, and wiped his nose. 

“Home, where else?” Kageyama declared, and pushed past him.

That was a lie. Hinata wasn’t a quick drive away. He pushed away the thoughts of Hinata. He had to focus on volleyball, now wasn’t a time for love. He hated ignoring Hinata’s calls and listening to the voicemails, but he had to make Hinata let him go. He would only hurt Hinata, the other didn’t know what type of monster Tobio Kageyama was now.

How would he explain to Hinata how he had left him so suddenly? How would he explain that? He sighed, getting out his keys and entering his car. It was dark outside now, and his phone rang. Luckily, it was just Atsumu. He hit decline, not wanting to talk to anyone right now. He grabbed the steering wheel, his knuckles turning white. He displayed all of his anger and emotion into physical action, as you could tell by how defined his muscles were.

Time had passed, enough for Kageyama to notice. He sighed, lighting the ignition and listening to the comforting sounds of his black car purring to life. Could Hinata still stomach Kageyama? Could he bear what Kageyama was now? A lifeless monster that only lived and breathed for volleyball. He could care less about the media, only posting on his instagram occasionally for the fans. Apparently, it is to boost his popularity.

Some nights, Kageyama could still feel. Sometimes, he would feel happiness; just a small inkling of course. It was like breathing over cold water for the first time, in an empty endless misty room with only water being visible. His life was spread out like cards on a casino table, changes every time you moved. You couldn’t stop them, you couldn’t opt out. You still had money on the line, but once it’s all spent; who will you run to? He obviously knew that answer, Hinata. Kageyama slammed the steering wheel, he hasn't even left the parking lot. He raised his hand to his mouth, resting his lips on the backside of his hand. 

Hinata was no longer a body of flesh and bones, he was a home that Kageyama had nestled himself into. No matter how much he struggled to get free of the walls, they were always closed in. So warm and inviting, he never wanted to leave. He wanted to suffocate in the overwhelming comfort. He just wanted to be alone, but he would never deny Hinata a spot in his small room for one.

Kageyama opened up the door to his apartment, the drive was easy. Late night drives reminded him of his younger years, when that was the only solution to all of his problems. He tossed his keys on his kitchen counter, and hung his backpack up. The place was as cold as always, the feeling of sunshine and warmth never bestowed upon it. It was fairly neat, and always looked like something from a model renovation magazine.

Kageyama took pride in it, even though it held no soul. It was the only constant in his life, a prickly cactus hug that was there when nothing else was. Not a good feeling, but a hug nonetheless. 

The time was late, and Kageyama bustled over to his kitchen to take out an orange. They were his personal favorite, since the sour taste was comforting. He leaned across the counter, his phone on the island. Suddenly, it started buzzing. He leaned forwards, catching himself with his hands on the island, turning his head to the source of the ungodly noise..

Hinata Shoyo couldn't handle change, so he was up to his usual shenanigans. Just some more sex, and some more alcohol. It was so natural, like breathing. Nothing he did was really ever good, so he decided to indulge in his selfish comforting way of coping; that would further damage him. His lifestyle only allowed him happiness for a short lived while, better than nothing of course.

Hinata held his stomach, stumbling around the bustling club that was filled with sweaty bodies colliding. The music was blasting, and as he made his way to the bathroom he bumped into Atsumu. Atsumu was his go to person for mindless sex, but he didn’t really want a conversation at the moment; he was about to barf.

“Hey cutie.” Atsumu slurred, pulling Hinata into a hug. 

“Not now, Atsumu.” Hinata said, tearing away from the bear hug.

“Why not?” Atsumu frowned, his devilish smirk hidden beneath it.

“Not feeling it right now.” Hinata said, bringing his hand to his mouth in a quick manner. If he didn’t find a bathroom, he would surely spew all over Atsumu. 

He kept running to the bathroom, weaving in between colliding bodies. He really missed Kageyama, when would he be back? When could he hold the other’s face in his arms again? Where would he be if Kageyama denied him? Would he be happier? 

Tears slipped the orange freckled boy’s face, as he caught up in his thoughts again. He needed to stop, he needed to stop the pain, he needed to stop thinking. He found his way to the bathroom, barging in. He saw his reflection in the mirror, as he had his hands resting on the counter; grasping the cold surface. He held his head up to gaze into the mirror. Is this who he had become? Is this who he called Hinata?

He threw up into the counter, his body shaking. He convulsed, still upright but his body couldn’t handle it. He threw his head back and let the tears flow; he felt dirty. He felt so dirty, he couldn’t get clean. He sunk back down onto the floor, his back against the door. He held his head in his hands, he felt dirty. He couldn’t be clean enough, he scratched furiously at his head, trying to escape his mind for a few seconds. He cried, and cried. He hit his head with his hands repeatedly, trying to stop the thoughts. 

He felt a xanax pill in his pocket, and furiously took it out. He couldn’t feel anything. He didn’t want to feel anything. He wanted to stop, he wanted to breathe. He didn’t want to sink, he wanted to be free. And the only thing stopping him was himself, the xanax was the angel that would deliver him to heaven. He decided to call kageyama for the last time. 

He dialed his number, his fingers only knowing his and not anybody else’s. He heard the ringing sound, as he put it up to his ear. He looked down into his palm, the xanax looking delicious. He cried as the dial rang, and rang. Was it possible to have trauma from the sound of it? He prayed that Kageyama would pick up, so that he could say his final goodbyes.

“This is Kageyama Tobio. I can’t promise i’ll get back to you, but I will try. Don’t call again if you get this, thanks. Bye.” 

Hinata heard the indicator that Kageyama didn’t want to speak to him. His voice, he could remember the way Kageyama smelled. He swore he could feel the first time he wore Kageyama’s hoodie, and the way he would hug the smaller one. The nights spent dancing on the kitchen floor. The nights spent at the icecream parlour, the owner getting visibly tired with the two lovers trying to feed each other their new concoctions. He would miss the way Tobio’s face looked when they attended their first prom, priceless. Did he even know Kageyama well enough to call him Tobio anymore? He didn’t know. Hinata burst out laughing, as the voicemail recorded. Hinata’s laughter rang throughout the phone. 

“I wish you were here. I’m sitting on this cold bathroom tile floor of a party debating if I should just end it all and you won’t even pick up. This marks my 1,000th call to you with no reply. I’m sure you’ve heard my voicemails, the times I truly suffered and you were just playing volleyball with fucking Hoshishimi and Ushijima. Fuck the adlers. I still cheered for you and watched all your matches, you know that? Fuck you. Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you.” Hinata screamed into the phone.

“I hate you. I really do.” Hinata screamed and cried.

He ran his hands through his hair

“no calls for three years..” he paused.

“I.” Hinata couldn't speak.

“Why don’t you want me?” he said softly, after a long pause of sobs. 

“Why wasn’t I good enough?” he cried, and hung up.

The bathroom floor felt different, he felt different. He let the tears fall. He let his hands drop to the floor to feel the cold for the last time. He dreamt of Kageyama almost everynight, Hopefully he wouldn't wake up this time from the fantasy that was Tobio Kageyama; in all his glory, and all his body. The tears stopped, he couldn’t cry anymore. He had cried too much and now his eyes were dry. He laughed to himself, and swallowed the pill whole. And the rest was happy, free, and an endless dream.

And for the first time in three years, Kageyama dialed him back.


	4. a quick note.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> just a note.

sorry guys i am SWAMPED with work, so chapter 4 will be up next week.. sorry about that.


End file.
